I just this week received my notice from SquareSpace, the wonderful vehicle for my Blog, of the annual renewal date approaching. I have to say with all honesty, I had much higher expectations of my little niche blog, 'a WHIMSPUN life'. Yet, as I typed this last sentence, I realized the gist of the problem; expectations of my blog, rather than myself. Without a driver a car will not get anywhere, no matter how shiny the car. My ego was quite attached to the layout and images of this vehicle, yet my drive, passion did little to put it into gear.
So the quandary; save the renewal fees (though reasonable) and admit defeat, or use the '
I spent quite a bit of time in the past year and a half working on handcrafting jewelry. There is a tangible reward when creating with beautiful stones a necklace or bracelet. So different than writing, I am always so clear when the piece is finished. That said, journal writing, which is the essence of a blog, my blog at least, has a very clear wrap-up. My problem of late (and early) is I have this passion to write something long; a story in need of an ending! Back to the jewelry! I created over 50 pieces just in the span of 2015. As I sell very little, I have a display of the progress of my skill over those months, and it is so rewarding. I have given quite a bit of my collection away; a chance for feedback, not to mention the opportunity to check my own perspective. All in all I believe I have improved much, from novice crafter to competent crafter/artist, still leaving much room for skill and design growth.
Unfortunately, though I created each and every piece of jewelry in the comfort of the supine position, beads on my side, large mat and try on my lap, after the holidays I had a series of lower back tweaks which really made it very difficult for me to bead at all. Even when entering a healing pattern I faced the insidious fear of "overdoing it"; the not just possible, but very real chance of decline. It has only been for the past week, entering the third month of the year, to have seriously considered sidling up to the beads again. TIME is one of the most susceptible facets of life to severe disability and chronic pain.
The past few months have though shown me (again!) writing is the least taxing activity I can engage; and writing has been the longest lasting passion in my life. I love writing. Except when I have written over a half dozen prologues-preambles-introductions to a story stuck on the tip of my tongue and getting bitter. I have read enough books on fiction writing to know without a doubt, even from my won experience, there exists no better cure for writer's block than a daily writing stream of conscious, IE.
So do I do it? Not really. Could this Blog be not only a shiny vehicle with some pick up and go itself, but a tow truck for my fiction writer's block? Of course. So what
I bore myself. I know I bore you. I whine about my pain. You Hate I Whine about my pain. Nobody reads this anyway. Each blog sounds like the one before. I reveal too much. I am afraid to be honest. I should be beading. I should be selling what I have made. Nobody likes me. I am a fraud.
Wow; where did that come from?
It came from me, the deep dark cavity which holds the essence of what I feel for myself since I have become unable to pick up my kids from school; make dinner most nights; go across the river to see my very elderly mom; take my children
So of course I have nothing better to do than renew with